Day 9 Prompt: For many ostomates, disguising our pouches is an almost constant concern. We worry that others will either catch a glimpse of our bags or see the outlines or both. It’s hard for us to accept that most people are probably not paying attention to our bellies because to us the bag is so obvious. Therefore, for one day (that will hopefully turn into two, then three, then four, etc.) I challenge myself to not look down to see if my pouch is noticeable when I’m in public. Can you do the same? (from Full Frontal Ostomy)
Eesh. That’s a rough one for me, especially on a day like today.
If I’m being completely honest, the bag doesn’t bother that much. At least not as much as I thought it would. I’m not even usually particularly aware of it being visible. I usually wear dresses because they’re more comfortable and, let’s be honest, I just love dresses. (Winter may be a more difficult time for me.) And I use my belly band that I wrote about in my post “No, I’m not pregnant.” But I am definitely more aware of it when I’m wearing pants. Today was one of those days.
I had on a pair of skinny jeans and a tank top with a sweater. Constantly throughout the day I felt that my bag was bulging through my tank and I was around a group of people that I had just met and I just knew they were wondering the whole time what was wrong with my stomach.
The challenge of not even looking at how the bag is disguised each day is daunting, because I know I do it every day. But I think it’s a healthy move because that bag does not define who I am and should not affect how I think about myself. And when I really think about it, what do I care if someone actually does see it? I’m not ashamed of it. Slightly uncomfortable at times, but not ashamed.