Category Archives: OstoMOMmy

A new meaning for World IBD Day

May 19 may be World IBD day, but that is no longer the significance that this day holds for me. It was this day in 2015 that I was first admitted to the hospital with an intestinal blockage during the third trimester of my pregnancy. It was the beginning of the end of my pregnancy.

Two days before, I had sent out a tweet about feeling a little blocked up. Honestly, at the time I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. It felt like the number of other times I had a mild blockage that would clear on its own if I drank a lot of water and stayed away from fibrous foods. Even when I went to the ER that day, I really only went because I was pregnant. If I hadn’t been worried about my son, I seriously doubt I would have gone to the hospital. It was more about being extra cautious than actually thinking there was a problem. After about a day in the hospital, I already was feeling better. I remember my surgeon coming in to talk to me and telling him I felt great and didn’t see a reason I needed to stay any longer.

Little did I know how much worse it would get over the coming days and weeks. Two days after being released from the hospital, I was in tears over the amount of pain I was in and would end up taking myself back to the hospital in the morning. And three weeks after that, my son would be here.

For me now, this day is a reminder of how much IBD can impact your life and the lives of the people around you. My pregnancy and my son’s birth did not go as I had planned. Thankfully, everything turned out well in the end, with a healthy baby and a healthy mom, but it could have gone another direction. I know if we decide to have more kids, I will go about things differently in the hopes of preventing another blockage.* But the truth is… with a disease like IBD, you never know what’s going to happen. And that’s why awareness is so important. So people have the information they need in order to make the best decisions. So others understand, even just a little bit, what it’s like to live with an unpredictable disease. And so one day a cure can save others from spending World IBD Day in the emergency room.

*This post was written before the birth of the second child and, as anticipated here, my experience was challenging and unpredictable. Although thankfully we ultimately had another healthy baby!

Thoughts on motherhood & ostomies

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Being a mother, in many ways, is just how I imagined it would be. It’s fun, challenging, exhausting, full of love and snuggles. But I don’t think I ever could have imagined how strongly each of those feelings and emotions would impact me. It’s more fun, more challenging, more exhausting than I ever could have anticipated.

My son is coming up on turning 11 months old this week. As I have gotten to know him over those months, I have learned a lot, both about myself and about parenthood in general. I have found that I can’t take my eyes off of him for more than a few seconds or he will make a break for the stairs. I have learned that no matter how good of a job I think I do at keeping stuff out of his reach, he will always find the one thing he shouldn’t be playing with. I have learned that my son’s laugh is the most incredible sound in the world. I have realized where I’m willing to take risks and where I am not. When previously I would have stepped on the gas to catch a yellow light, I now slow down and wait. Making that light may be worth the risk to my life, but it’s not worth the risk to his. It’s interesting to realize how differently you value and treat your own life as compared to your child’s.

Having a child certainly makes you look at the world differently. It’s as if everything you see is now filtered through a different lens. You think about what’s best for them, and how you can help them learn and grow. It also makes you think more often about the truly important things in life.

This past week, my son and I both came down with a cold. Nothing major, but just enough to where you feel pretty awful and you just want to sleep for a while. Well, as you parents know, kids don’t believe in taking a day to rest. I started feeling poorly after he was doing a lot better, so all he wanted to do was play and explore, while all I wanted to do was to take a nap. As he was staring at me, and starting to cry because I didn’t want to play, I thought about what it would be like if I was feeling run like this down all of the time. Those few days were difficult, but they were nothing compared to what so many individuals with IBD live through each and every day. It’s what I lived through every day for a very long time. It broke my heart to think of what it would be like if I had never had my surgery.

My son makes me thankful for my ostomy every day. It has allowed me to chase him around on the floor without feeling too exhausted. I can now break away for a quick moment to empty my bag, rather than spending a long time in the bathroom. I have the strength to pick him up and carry him around with me during the day.

On my first Mother’s day after his birth, I stop to think about what it means to be a mother. It’s about teaching your child how to navigate this world and to be a good and kind person. You show them how to love and be respectful of others. You give them the tools to make something of themselves and to chase after their dreams. But more than almost anything, it’s about being there for your child. And I am so thankful that my ostomy has allowed me to be there for mine.

Adventures in mommyhood (with an ostomy)

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I have a hard time believing, at the moment, that my tiny little baby is going to be one-year old in just two months. Everyone always told me how quickly times goes by, but I am still shocked at how quickly it does. This week, we were blessed with the arrival of my first nephew, and when we went to meet him at the hospital, I was taken aback by how tiny he was and how I could hardly imagine my son being that size just 10 months ago.

These months have been a growing time for me, as well, as I learn what it means to be a mom. And while I know I having an ostomy has no bearing on the kind of mom I am, I do see some areas that are a little different for me. So I thought I’d start a new series. An OstoMOMmy series, if you will.

I will plan to talk about any instances I find in my life as a mom that have been impacted by my ostomy and consider ways to deal with it or things I have learned from it. And I’d like your help, as well. In a series like this, I want to make sure I am writing about things that actually impact other people’s lives. So I’d like to know about your questions or ideas for topics.

What questions do you have about being a parent with an ostomy? Are there certain activities that concern you about raising a child or that you’ve already experienced? Are there things that you think will be different as a parent with an ostomy? Are there certain scenarios where you, as a parent, have had a different perspective because of your ostomy? What other parenting topics would you be interested in hearing more about?

I have a couple of topics in mind, but I figure this will be a series that I will write about as it happens, whether it happens often or only sporadically. Please comment below or on my Facebook page with your questions or topic ideas!

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