Three years… 1095 days… That’s how long I have now been living with my ostomy. As usual, it’s one of those mixed feelings of “seems like forever” and “feels like only yesterday.” It’s amazing to look back over these past years and realize how much my life has changed. In a lot of ways, I feel like 3 years ago is when my life started.
Prior to my surgery, I felt so trapped and afraid. I feel like I lost so much of my 20s, which is supposed to be the time where you are able to be free and to experience all that life has to offer. But I feel like I didn’t have that chance. Now don’t get me wrong, I had a lot of really amazing things happen in those years, but I also missed out on a lot of things. So after I had my surgery, it truly felt that I was in control of my life for the first time in a very long time.
When my husband and I first started talking about having a baby, I was hesitant. I remember thinking that I had been robbed of much of my 20s and I finally felt like I had my life back and I wasn’t sure I wanted to give up that freedom so soon. At the same time, I knew that surgery can complicate getting pregnant and I didn’t want to wait for too long. But once we decided to go for it, I was ready and I wouldn’t change a thing now that it’s all actually happening. But there is still this small part of me that feels like that time was too short.